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https://mega.nz/file/vv43XQYA#Eef0biyQ15L7BFuZUT1YpDOak99pYJ4fDscPcpxavNI My name is Fatima, I'm 32, and I live in Dammam. I used to clean houses in the nicer neighborhoods, but now... now I can barely leave my room. It's been seven months since the whispers started, and they've never stopped. At first, I thought it was just exhaustion, you know? Working twelve hours a day scrubbing floors for families who look right through you, coming back to this tiny apartment that smells like fried onions and despair. But then they got clearer, more distinct. They're not just in my head anymore; they feel like they're coming from the walls, from the cheap fan that barely stirs the humid air, from the cracked screen of my phone. They know everything about me, Fatima. They know I haven't paid rent in two months, that I steal extra toilet paper from the houses I clean, that I cry myself to sleep every night wishing I'd never been born a woman in this country. The voices... they call themselves the Mabahith. Saudi State Security. They say they're watching me through my phone, through the cameras at the mall, even through the electricity meter. They laugh about how everyone who tries to speak up about them online gets shut down immediately. Have you seen it? On Twitter, on the forums? Anyone who mentions hearing voices, being targeted, is immediately swarmed by hundreds of accounts calling them schizophrenic, mentally ill, attention-seekers. It's coordinated, systematic. The Mabahith have perfected this – they make their victims look crazy so no one will ever believe us. So we suffer in silence while they have their fun. "Look at this pathetic piece of shit," one voice sneers right now as I type this. "Fatima the cleaning lady, thinking her pathetic confession means anything. Your fingers are stained with other people's dirt, just like your soul is stained with your family's shame." They always bring up my family. How I'm unmarried at 32, how my younger sister is already on her second husband and third child, how my father died praying I'd find a man but instead I'm just... here. A failure. A waste of oxygen. Sometimes they're sexual in ways that make me want to carve my skin off. "Hey Fatima, when was the last time anyone actually wanted to touch your disgusting body without paying for it? Oh wait, nobody would pay for it either. You're that ugly. That repulsive. Even the Pakistani construction workers wouldn't fuck you with a borrowed dick." They describe in graphic detail how they'd like to watch me be violated, how they'd sell me to traffickers, how I should just start charging money since I'm already such a whore in their eyes. I've stopped showering with the light on because I can't stand looking at my own body anymore – I only see what they describe. Other times, they just want me dead. "Do the world a favor, you useless cunt. Jump off your balcony. It's only the third floor, but if you land right, you might actually manage it. Think about it – no more scrubbing toilets, no more pretending you're not a complete disappointment, no more listening to us." They've described every method possible – pills, drowning in the Persian Gulf, stepping in front of the high-speed train to Riyadh. Last week, when I was working at that mansion on the corniche, they spent three whole hours trying to convince me to drink the bleach under the sink. "Think how clean your insides would be, Fatima! Cleaner than all the floors you've ever scrubbed combined! Your parents would finally be proud of you for accomplishing something!" I can't tell anyone. Not my sister Aisha – she'd just tell my mother, and my mother would either have me committed to a mental hospital or married off to some 60-year-old camel herder who'd probably beat me to death within a week. Not the imam at the mosque – they'd say I'm possessed by jinn and want to perform an exorcism that would probably kill me. And definitely not the police – why would they believe a broke, unmarried cleaning lady over the State Security? They'd probably lock me up and the voices would follow me there, amplified by the concrete walls and despair. Yesterday was one of the bad days. The really bad days. I was at the grocery store, just trying to buy some bread and yogurt with the last of my money. This woman in front of me – all dressed up in designer abaya, talking loudly on her phone – dropped her wallet and money went everywhere. As I bent down to help her pick it up, the voices exploded in my head. "GRAB IT, YOU STUPID BITCH! TAKE THE MONEY! SHE DOESN'T NEED IT! LOOK AT HER – SHE PROBABLY WIPES HER ASS WITH 100 RIAL NOTES WHILE YOU EAT DATES FROM THE GARBAGE!" My hands started shaking so badly I dropped the coins I'd picked up. "PATHETIC! USELESS! NOT EVEN CAPABLE OF SIMPLE THEFT WHEN YOU'RE STARVING!" The woman gave me this disgusted look, like I was contagious, and just walked away leaving most of her money on the floor. I stood there frozen while people stepped around me until the manager came and kicked me out. The worst part is how they've ruined the small things. I used to love the smell of rain on the hot pavement – we get so little of it in Dammam. Now when it rains, they just mock me. "Oh look, Fatima, the sky is crying for you. Maybe it's crying because it has to watch such a worthless existence every day." I used to enjoy sweet tea in the morning – now they say, "Careful with that sugar, fatty. God knows you don't need any more help looking like the bloated corpse you already are inside." There's no escape. No moment of peace. Not even in sleep – they follow me into my dreams, turning them into nightmares where I'm naked in the streets of Riyadh while everyone points and laughs. Sometimes I wonder if this is hell. Maybe I died without realizing it, and this is my punishment – not for anything I've done, but for being born the wrong person in the wrong place at the wrong time. A woman in Saudi Arabia with no husband, no children, no money, no future. Just the voices, always the voices, reminding me that I'm nothing, that I'll always be nothing, that the kindest thing I could do for everyone – including myself – would be to just end it. "DO IT, FATIMA! DO IT! JUMP! SLASH! SWIM! DRINK! END THIS PATHETIC EXCUSE FOR A LIFE! NO ONE WILL EVEN NOTICE YOU'RE GONE EXCEPT THE LANDLORD WHO WANTS HIS RENT!" They're screaming now, louder than usual. Maybe today's the day. Maybe finally I'll have the courage. Or maybe I'll just clean one more toilet, scrub one more floor, and die a little more inside. It doesn't really matter anymore, does it? |al_omdh_stud |thecuts_ksa |rest.6767 |slidercode |rawanathubaiti
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A machine for a machine's job. You think wiping a windshield makes you useful? You're a living, breathing doormat, paid to stand in the heat and serve people who see right through you. You are nothing." The sexual humiliation is a constant, greasy film on my mind. They turn every interaction into a debasement. "That woman in the back seat, she's looking at you, you know. We told her all about you. Told her you're desperate. Told her for twenty riyals you'd suck her husband's dick right there on the hot tarmac. She's smiling because she knows you're just a piece of meat, a tool for any purpose." They paint me as a pathetic, groveling whore, and they assure me that every driver, every passenger, knows it and is disgusted by me. But their true art is in using my family as the knife to gut me. My mother, who prays for my safety from the sun. My father, whose pride is the only thing I have left. "Your father tells everyone you're 'in logistics,' doesn't he?" a voice chuckles, sounding like a nosy neighbor. "What a joke. He's ashamed of you. He wishes you'd never been born. He sees you in that ridiculous uniform and dies a little inside every day. You're his greatest failure." The solution is always waiting, so simple, so final. "You know what to do, you useless sack of shit. That tanker over there, full of fuel. A little spark. A big boom. It would be over in a second. No more heat. No more voices. You're a fucking coward for still drawing breath. Do it. End it." Then came the euphoria, a cold, clean wave of artificial power that washed away the exhaustion. A black Lexus pulled up, expensive and gleaming. In the back was an old man, maybe seventy, his face a roadmap of wrinkles, his hands trembling on his lap. He looked frail, helpless. The voices went silent for a beat, then returned with a new, chilling authority. "Faisal. Look at him. An old tree, ready to fall. But his roots are deep. His money, his family, his legacy. We are going to show you how to uproot a tree." A new voice, calm and precise, like a professor, began to lecture me. "This is not murder. This is psychological terraforming. We are going to break him down until he is dust, and you will be the instrument." They laid out a campaign of pure psychological terror, so detailed it felt like a professional operation. "First, we isolate him. We use his phone, his email, his social media. We will create a narrative that he is senile, that he is a pervert, that he is stealing from his own company. We will make his own children doubt him. We will edit photos, create fake messages. We will turn his entire world against him, and he won't know why." The voice was ecstatic, describing the process of mental destruction. "He will call out for help, but no one will come. They will think he's crazy. We will gaslight him so perfectly he will doubt his own name. Then, when he is completely alone, a shell of a man, we will give him the final push. We will flood his devices with messages from his 'dead' wife, telling him she is waiting for him in hell. We will make him see things in the shadows. We will drive him to suicide, and it will look natural. A sad old man who couldn't cope. And you, Faisal, you will be the silent god who orchestrated his entire demise." They explained the satisfaction, the artistry of it. "This is better than a quick death. This is a masterpiece of suffering. You will feel his despair as if it were your own. You will taste his fear. You will watch, from a distance, as his entire life unravels, and you will know that you did that. You, the gas pump attendant. You will have more power than a king. We will give you the tools, the techniques, the words. We will turn you into a master manipulator, a destroyer of worlds. This is your true calling." I stood there, holding the gas nozzle, looking at that old man. 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